Are you in a relationship that doesn’t feel quite right? Have you gone back and forth trying to decide if you should stay or go? Here are some signs you should run, not walk to the nearest exit:
1. He/she doesn’t treat you with respect. Does your partner say or do cruel things that hurt your feelings? Sure, we can all say things at some point in a fit of anger we wish we could take back but when you are with someone who puts you down, it is seriously time to reconsider.
2. He/she doesn’t promote personal growth. Does your significant other sabotage your opportunities for success? Does he/she try to keep you as is and shut down your goals and aspirations? An insecure person may have a fear of losing his/her partner if the partner changes in any way. It is almost like a fear the partner will outgrow them. If he/she doesn’t support your personal growth or your own, it can feel suffocating. Just think, if you feel this stagnant now, can you live life like that in the future?
3. He/she doesn’t respect your boundaries. When you say no, do they actually listen? If your limits and boundaries aren’t respected while you are dating, imagine what that will feel like down the road. If someone continues to push you after you have created a boundary, he/she is not respecting you as a person.
4. Your partner doesn’t support individuality. Have you lost yourself in this relationship? Have you changed your friends, your style, even the music you listen to? If you have become lost in what the other person wants and they do not support your desire to have your own interests, take a step back. Again, what do you think this will be like years down the road?
5. You don’t feel good about yourself when you are with him/her. In a healthy relationship, your partner brings out your best self. Your positive interactions and loving feelings empower you to be radiant. The opposite is true when we are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t treat us well . We become more withdrawn, angry and negative. It impacts all other relationships in our lives as well.
6. Getting less than you deserve. You think you deserve better but you’re worried about taking the risk of leaving the relationship. Many people in this position question their worth and at times don’t feel like they deserve better, so maybe the best question is: do you want better? How often do you notice your partner giving as much as he/she receive? If the level of effort is extremely unbalanced and despite your requests for more, there is no change, it may be time to hit the road.
7. He/she is unwilling to compromise. It is your partner’s way or no way. Are you dating someone who takes the ball and goes home every time he/she doesn’t get their way? Does your partner pout, lash out or shut down? Yikes! It is time to grow up and learn some give and take because compromise is the cornerstone for working together and building a healthy relationship.
No one is perfect. I am not suggesting there are flawless relationships but when you have put in effort and the other person is unwilling or unable to work on making changes, there comes a point when you really need to decide if the person is right for you. He/she can be amazing in many ways but if you don’t feel happy, you have looked at your part in the dissatisfaction and the other person isn’t willing to grow, it may be time to lose your lover. Life is far too short to be miserable!